Paige. 25. United States. CisFemale. Asexual. She/Her. "Gif" as in "Jif".
Fandoms: Nerdfighters, Doctor Who, Supernatural, BBC Robin Hood, Firefly, Ever After High / Monster High, sometimes Star Wars and various video games.
Rumplestiltskin’s Letter To Belle
I have all the possesions for which a man may dream. My castle is spacious, I have the finest of furniture, and I possess endless spools of gold.
But I have no heart.
Black as it may have been, I once had it working again. No. You had it working again. It was you, and it was yours. And you took it. You took it from me – my heart. You took it and you left. You hurt me, and I hate you. I HATE YOU. Because I love you, and you made me need you. And I DON’T CARE that I told you to go. You’re gone! You LEFT! You’re gone, and I will never forgive. Never forgive. I wish, I wish you were dea…
Rant on this letter below the Read More.
The fourth gif. The fourth gif is why I love RC. I went back and watched that facial expression like six times. Just look at him. He’s staring out at the middle distance, and he’s so confused. He really, really doesn’t know what to do. And Archie says it so simply: “Be honest”. And he looks up just a fraction of an inch. And his expression is just… confusion and disbelief. Could it really be that simple? This man has built his entire life on lies. Twenty eight years, and not a word of truth. And all Archie says is “Be honest”. It’s like he can’t believe that the fix could be that easy. He’s so used to making deals, contracts, curses, spells… he can’t believe that there is such an easy fix to this. He’s spent his entire life trying to fix it. And now all he really needs to do is say “I’m sorry, son.”
All of that is etched onto his face in that fourth gif. That’s a two-second-long gif. And that is exactly why Robert Carlyle is my favorite actor.
#Because for that brief moment #Rum thought that he was holding his little boy in his arms again #How many times must he have played this out in his mind #How many scenarios must he have created #How many times must he have rehearsed what he would say to him in his mind #How many nights would he just lay in bed and dream of the day that he would see his son again.
Look at Gold’s face. Look at it. That’s— I was going to say that’s twenty eight years of separation. But it’s not. That is CENTURIES of separation. Rumplestiltskin spent his LIFE in the fairy tale world trampling over everyone’s happily ever afters in the attempt to build a curse powerful enough to take him to the place where he could find his son. He ripped apart time and space in order to have the SLIGHTEST CHANCE at being able to find Bae again. To make things right. To ask for forgiveness. To toss aside the cowardice, man up, and face his son. Just to be able to say “I fucked up. Please forgive me.” LOOK AT HIS FACE. Do you see it? He thinks that he’s getting everything he’s worked for. Right there, he is clutching his son. And everything is okay again. Forget Belle, forget “true love’s kiss”, forget how he threw her out, forget ALL of that. Because right there, he’s got his SON. And THAT is his true Happily Ever After. The man is sobbing. He is broken down. Completely undone, yet made completely whole.
But August is not Bae. August stands there and calls him “Papa”. This man who thinks he is holding the most precious thing in the world. Everything he ever wanted. And it’s a lie. August KNOWS it’s a lie. And he stands there watching this man break down in tears because he thinks he’s found his son. No, no, not only that. He thinks he’s found his GROWN UP son. He thinks he’s looking at the man that his son became. He sees August, and he thinks that despite being raised by a coward, Bae grew up to be a good man. A brave man. That is the greatest gift a parent can be given: to see your child grown up, and doing well for himself. To know that all the time spent, all that work, despite all your failures, your kid grew up to be a good person. LOOK AT HIS FACE AGAIN. DO YOU SEE IT?
Since my psychoanalysis of Mr Gold/Rumplestiltskin always gets a standing O, I’ve got a page for them now. There’s a link in my sidebar if you ever want to find them.
Oh, and I really really enjoy writing those things, so if you ever want to get inside the imp’s head, let me know :) Questions about why he does the things he does? I’d love to sit him down on the couch and make noncommittal “Hmmm” sounds at him for an hour.
why is rumplestiltskin considered a coward
he ran away from some war but it sounded like the kingdom was just throwing men at the trolls/ogres/whatever the hecks and if you were drafted you’d pretty much die. it just seems sensible to try to skip out on that, especially if you’ve got a wife and kid
depending on the penalties for draft-dodging i could even argue that it was brave of him to run away but i’ll try really hard to be objective
and he broke into a huge fuck-off castle and stole an artifact in order to kill an eldritch being and save his son. that’s not really cowardly, right
i guess the belle thing, maybe some people could argue that his rejection of her was an act of cowardice
idk i can see that but i really think it’s a product of extreme self-hate rather than a lack of bravery
it’s weird that people keep describing rumple as a coward! he doesn’t seem any more or less brave than any of the other characters
I think the war thing depends on the circumstances. If he were drafted into the war, decided that he needed to be with his wife and kid instead, and then deserted to go be with them, then sure, it may not be an act of cowardice. But that scene where the soldier is explaining how he ran away from battle? Watch his face. That’s not defiance and bravery, that’s shame. He can’t look the soldier in the eye, and he CERTAINLY can’t look Bae in the eye. That’s not the face of a man who made the decision to go back to his family. That’s the face of a man who got scared shitless when he saw danger approaching, and ran off, leaving all his comrades to die.
Also, he describes himself as a coward. All his reactions are jittery and abrupt. When the soldier gives him the “kiss my boot” line, he does try to be brave for a bit. Starts off with the “I don’t understand”. Well, he does understand. He knows exactly what the soldier wanted. He’s just stalling for time to try to come up with something. He doesn’t want his son to see him grovelling. It is a moment of bravery. He’s standing up to the soldier (even though it’s in a very timid way - stalling, rather than just being defiant).
The real tell is when the soldier gives him that last ‘kiss my boot’. I forget the exact line, but the soldier yells at him. Now, here’s Rumple, wanting to save face in front of his son. He wants to be a hero to the kid - it’s what any father wants. But there’s this soldier calling him out on being a coward. Saying in front of his son that he ran away from battle like a coward, and that it made his wife leave him. The soldier is tearing down this “Papa is a hero” image that Rumple has tried really hard to build for his son.
Rumple has a few options here. He could try to play the defiant card. Refuse to get on the ground and kiss the guy’s boot. This isn’t a good option, as it probably ends in Bae being taken away right there.
Option two. The soldier is basically saying that if Rumple gets down on the ground and kisses his boot, then he’ll leave Bae alone until his birthday, when he’ll have to be drafted. Kiss the boot - save his son. Rumple could have handled this with grace. Just get on the ground and do it. Do it for his kid.
Instead, what ends up happening is this: Rumple tries to stay standing, tries to be defiant. But then the soldier yells at him. He flips out. Tenses up, jumps, drops his staff, plops down in the dirt, and scrambles to kiss the boot. That is not the reaction of a man doing this to save his kid. That’s the reaction of someone trying to save himself. He flinches away from the soldier like he’s afraid that he’s going to be hit in the face. At that moment, it’s not about Bae; it’s about himself. He is so terrified of being slapped, he lets that “Papa is a hero” facade crumble. That reaction wasn’t “Please spare my boy”, it was “Please don’t hit me”.
I think that’s what made him a coward.
(Oh, and to very quickly address your other points. Yes, breaking into the castle was an act of bravery. THAT was the reaction of a man who would go to any length to save his son. But watch Bae. Just by the way he looks at his dad, you can tell that this act-of-bravery is NOT normal for Rumple. He’s got a lifetime of cowardice behind him, and this ONE TIME is when he decides that he needs to be brave.)
(Also: I agree with the Belle thing being more self-hate than cowardice. I am of the opinion that all that cowardice went out the window as soon as Rumple became the new Dark One. Like the curse completely eliminated that part of him. At the end of Desperate Souls when Rumple has just stabbed all those guards, that’s bravery. That’s making a personal sacrifice to save his kid. And once again, watch Bae. That is COMPLETELY out of character for the father that Bae used to know.)
… I wrote you a novel. 0.o
I was JUST thinking this. GET OUT OF MY MIND, DEMON.
Also of note: since I just watched that scene again and had forgotten this part…
He uses the coffee cup as a shield. When Emma first starts tearing into him, he takes a tiny sip of the coffee. He does this juuuuuuust as he’s starting to get nervous. This is a psychological thing: using the coffee cup as a shield between him and Emma. It doesn’t make logical sense; a coffee cup wouldn’t protect you from anything. But still, it’s a subconscious-behaviour thing, putting an object between you and the thing that is making you uncomfortable.
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why Paige needs a new hobby!! Psychoanalyzing fictional characters and finding deep meaning in their choices to take a sip of coffee? Hell yeah, overkill.
yeah man they need more diversity! come on, OUaT
i think lana parrilla is puerto rican but still
and i think sidney glass has a pretty rock n roll personality from what they’ve shown, but i am uncomfortable with the role he’s been given
your headcanons are so good though, especially with regina. that’s perfect, i’m taking that
i’m following that headcanon now
idk if your spindleshanks theory would be classified as asexual or celibate, but yeah the idea that he would consider having a new relationship a betrayal makes total sense
although i think that mr gold would have some sort of sex drive, ‘cause i basically think of him as rumplestiltskin trying to behave like a normal person (does that make sense? so he has the same thought patterns as batshit-rumples, it’s just he suppresses his more alienating actions)
I’m staying out of the character sexual orientation chatter because I have no opinions on the matter.
BUT! I have to say that the last part you just said about Mr Gold is basically how I play him in the RP account. IMO, he remembers everything about the fairy tale world, including how he was as cursed-Rumple and non-cursed-Rumple. (To avoid confusion, ‘Rumplestiltskin’ will refer to the cursed one, and ‘Spindleshanks’ will be the non-cursed one.) Mr Gold, although human, remembers what it was like to have all that magical power and to be batshit-crazy. He also remembers what it was like to be a complete coward. So he’s a little bit of both. There’s the scene in the Cinderella episode when Emma is yelling at Gold, threatening to dig up his past and whatever. At the beginning of this speech, Gold is smiling, because he thinks Emma can’t do anything to hurt him. As the speech goes on though, the smile gets more and more frozen until it’s almost disappeared. And then there’s a *gulp*. After that gulp, though, there’s a split second switch that you can SEE happen (God bless Robert Carlyle). Gold drops the ‘scared’ face and does that little sassy shoulder thing with the “I like you, Miss Swan. You’re not afraid of me.”
The way I figure it is this: Gold still feels the fear from when he was Spindleshanks. He has the instinct to run away from scary things and hide in the corner. But there’s also Rumplestiltskin’s pride that prevents him from doing that. Even though Gold feels the fear, he won’t act on it. He just switches to Rumplestiltskin mode and plays the overconfident manipulative bastard.
Anyway. Just my two cents.
I am slightly frightened by the fact that I have so many opinions on the character. That wasn’t even half of them. I’ve got enough thoughts to write an essay psychoanalyzing him. *sigh* The curses of Role Playing.